CHAPTER TWENTY THREE ©
GOODBYES AGAIN
Louisa sat in the wagon, waiting for August to finish, yet another chore. Baby Frances was asleep in her basket in the back. His delaying tactics, were getting on her nerves.
“I am not getting down from here until you join me and we get down together at the doctor’s surgery, August,’ she yelled impatiently, “ so if you ever want me to come inside, I suggest you hurry up.”
August dragged his feet through the dust outside the barn, eventually climbing up beside Louisa.
“You know this is a waste of a good day’s working time, don’t you? I am fine and the doc will tell us so.”
“Well, that being the case, I would like to hear it from him, just humour me August, will you?”
He smiled as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek, “Gidup, Jasper” he said as they drove out the yard.
The seven miles into town was a trial for them both that day. The dust was thick on the road, with no rain in the area for months now, everything was dry and brittle.
Louisa prayed for rain as well as her husband along the way. August tied his handkerchief across his mouth to relieve his coughing. She had a ache in her heart and it would not be cured until she heard from the doctor.
Exiting the doctor’s surgery later that afternoon, Louisa and August held hands as if life depended on it. Her ache in her heart had not been cured with good news.
“My love, this doesn’t mean what he says will come true,” August pleaded with his wife.
“No August, you will be fine, haven’t you been saying that all this time, I just need to believe you.”
The drive home seemed to take longer than normal. Neither of them could find words to say to each other. Each was wrapped up in thoughts of despair and tried not to show it.
They decided that nothing would change and the children need not be told anything different.
Christmas came and went. Also with it the decline in August. He was no longer able to go about without his body being wracked with terrible coughing fits.
On a warm autumn day in March 1888, August drew his last breath, surrounded by his wife, daughter and seven of his children by his marriage.15
Louisa read the Town and Country Journal on 31 March 1888:
She wept bitter angry tears, “all who knew him...” they couldn’t even get his name right!
Oh her lovely August. He would never see his beloved daughter turn one!
15 Australia, Death Index, 1787-1985 [database on-line]. Provo, UT, USA: Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., 2010.http://www.ancestry.com.au
16 Family Notices (1888, March 31). Australian Town and Country Journal (Sydney, NSW : 1870 - 1907), p. 34. Retrieved May 27, 2017, from http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article71095921
Louisa never thought she would have to grieve like this again. She did’t know how she would go on.
But go on she must. Just like after Alfred she thought, but this time I have eight children. I am stronger for the love of two good men. Men who provided for me, one who left me and the children well off and one who always made me laugh.
Things at the Inn remained the same. Alfred and Magnus moved their sheep to August’s farm and ran both cattle and sheep. They spent most of their nights back at the Inn though. They needed the closeness of family, even though they were young men now.
Peter had taken on the role of Manager of the Inn. Even though Louisa’s name was down as Publican and he could not legally serve at the bar, most people knew that he did the majority of the work for his mother. Until she came out of the black hole that she seemed to reside in and the baby was older, he would be there for her, although far off places were calling him.
John still pestered his mother about getting work in town, but for now Louisa wasn’t letting any of her young ones work anywhere but the Inn. Then one day an article in the paper caught her eye.
“I saw in the paper the other day, John, that they are calling for tenders to do a mail run in this area. If you like I can put in for it, my name of course would have to be on the contract. But we could get a packhorse for you to carry out the mail run. It would be twice a week for three years mind, so I would need your assurance that you would do it,” she mentioned one morning in the hope of easing his unrest and keeping him at home.
And so Louisa won the tender for the mail contract, in 1889.17 But it was John who did the run. Louisa received £95 per year for this service, half of which she gave to John and half she put away for him. It would stand him in good stead when he made that move to leave home, as she knew he would.
She continued lessons for the rest of the children who were ten and under, while still nursing baby Frances. She was so like her father in many ways, especially her blue eyes and shock of blonde hair.
Their days settled into a routine once again, with Louisa eventually coming out of the daze she had been in since the death of August.
She celebrated the New Year’s with her children and reflected on the past seven years. She been loved by two husbands and lost both of them. One had given her six sons and a daughter and the other had given her another daughter. Although she had suffered lost she was fortunate to have her family. She would look forward to 1890 with renewed hope for a happier life.
Little did she know how wrong she was.
17 New South Wales, Australia, Government Gazettes, 1853-1899 (Provo, UT, USA, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc.), http://www.ancestry.com.au
“Well, that being the case, I would like to hear it from him, just humour me August, will you?”
He smiled as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek, “Gidup, Jasper” he said as they drove out the yard.
The seven miles into town was a trial for them both that day. The dust was thick on the road, with no rain in the area for months now, everything was dry and brittle.
Louisa prayed for rain as well as her husband along the way. August tied his handkerchief across his mouth to relieve his coughing. She had a ache in her heart and it would not be cured until she heard from the doctor.
Exiting the doctor’s surgery later that afternoon, Louisa and August held hands as if life depended on it. Her ache in her heart had not been cured with good news.
“My love, this doesn’t mean what he says will come true,” August pleaded with his wife.
“No August, you will be fine, haven’t you been saying that all this time, I just need to believe you.”
The drive home seemed to take longer than normal. Neither of them could find words to say to each other. Each was wrapped up in thoughts of despair and tried not to show it.
They decided that nothing would change and the children need not be told anything different.
Christmas came and went. Also with it the decline in August. He was no longer able to go about without his body being wracked with terrible coughing fits.
On a warm autumn day in March 1888, August drew his last breath, surrounded by his wife, daughter and seven of his children by his marriage.15
Louisa read the Town and Country Journal on 31 March 1888:
DEATHS
Engstrom- March 14, at Gunnedah, from inflammation of the lungs, Thomas August Engstrom, of
Sugar Loaf Hotel, near Gunnedah, aged 31 years. Highly respected by all who knew him.16
She wept bitter angry tears, “all who knew him...” they couldn’t even get his name right!
Oh her lovely August. He would never see his beloved daughter turn one!
15 Australia, Death Index, 1787-1985 [database on-line]. Provo, UT, USA: Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., 2010.http://www.ancestry.com.au
16 Family Notices (1888, March 31). Australian Town and Country Journal (Sydney, NSW : 1870 - 1907), p. 34. Retrieved May 27, 2017, from http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article71095921
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR ©
GRIEF
Louisa never thought she would have to grieve like this again. She did’t know how she would go on.
But go on she must. Just like after Alfred she thought, but this time I have eight children. I am stronger for the love of two good men. Men who provided for me, one who left me and the children well off and one who always made me laugh.
Things at the Inn remained the same. Alfred and Magnus moved their sheep to August’s farm and ran both cattle and sheep. They spent most of their nights back at the Inn though. They needed the closeness of family, even though they were young men now.
Peter had taken on the role of Manager of the Inn. Even though Louisa’s name was down as Publican and he could not legally serve at the bar, most people knew that he did the majority of the work for his mother. Until she came out of the black hole that she seemed to reside in and the baby was older, he would be there for her, although far off places were calling him.
John still pestered his mother about getting work in town, but for now Louisa wasn’t letting any of her young ones work anywhere but the Inn. Then one day an article in the paper caught her eye.
“I saw in the paper the other day, John, that they are calling for tenders to do a mail run in this area. If you like I can put in for it, my name of course would have to be on the contract. But we could get a packhorse for you to carry out the mail run. It would be twice a week for three years mind, so I would need your assurance that you would do it,” she mentioned one morning in the hope of easing his unrest and keeping him at home.
And so Louisa won the tender for the mail contract, in 1889.17 But it was John who did the run. Louisa received £95 per year for this service, half of which she gave to John and half she put away for him. It would stand him in good stead when he made that move to leave home, as she knew he would.
She continued lessons for the rest of the children who were ten and under, while still nursing baby Frances. She was so like her father in many ways, especially her blue eyes and shock of blonde hair.
Their days settled into a routine once again, with Louisa eventually coming out of the daze she had been in since the death of August.
She celebrated the New Year’s with her children and reflected on the past seven years. She been loved by two husbands and lost both of them. One had given her six sons and a daughter and the other had given her another daughter. Although she had suffered lost she was fortunate to have her family. She would look forward to 1890 with renewed hope for a happier life.
Little did she know how wrong she was.
17 New South Wales, Australia, Government Gazettes, 1853-1899 (Provo, UT, USA, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc.), http://www.ancestry.com.au
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