CHAPTER FIVE
FISH FOR TEA ©
Louisa struggled through the day, with the children asking questions that she could’t answer. The Inn had to be closed until further investigation could be done.
I hope it won’t be to long before we can reopen. The veggie patch and larder will only keep us for so long. We need our regulars bringing in the money. I don’t know if Alfred had any money stashed away. Surely we couldn’t have used up all the money from our gold mining days, she thought.
Dr Edmonds had called again this afternoon to see if she wanted something to help her sleep. She declined.
She was only now starting to feel the cloudiness of the drug he had given her last night lifting. She didn’t want to feel that way again. Her children needed her, she wanted to be alert if they woke during the night. Also, she wanted to feel her own pain, she did’t want to block it out. Alfred had been her life, he deserved her tears, her pain and despair.
How am I going to go on, she thought. For the children an inner voice urged her. Yes she acknowledged, for the children.
She found herself in the kitchen doing the normal things, while Ethel played on the floor in the corner. She had sent the boys down to the river to catch her some fish. They wouldn’t of course, but it would get them out of the house. It would keep them occupied, enable them to get muddy and dirty and for a little while forget and hopefully be tired enough for sleep tonight.
She kneaded the bread again. She had set it to rise at lunchtime, so now it was ready for the oven. Then she remembered that she had given the children bread and blackberry jam last night. Oh well, it wouldn’t hurt them, she did’t have the energy for anything else. She had a couple of apples that they could have for dessert.
Soon she would have to go into town and see the Undertaker. She didn’t know about these things. What did she have to do? How much would it all costs? When would she be able to bury her beloved Alfred? Would she be able to carry on here? Was she allowed to even? She was a woman after all, could she also be a Publican? Her head was a mixture of questions and problems. It hurt! Oh how it hurt.
Bang! The boys burst into the room, “ Mam, Mumma, Ma” all talking at once. Alfred Jr was carrying a sizeable Redfin. He had caught a fish. His first by himself. Alfred was watching over them.
“Maybe we can have fish for tea and bread and jam for dessert,” she smiled as he handed her the fish.
CHAPTER SIX
SURVIVING ANOTHER DAY ©
As night closed in on Louisa she turned once again in bed. Sighing she rose and picked up Ethel from her cot. The cold seemed to reach every bone in her body, she missed his body close to hers. Taking Ethel back to bed she cuddled up to her and felt her warm breath and warm body radiating warmth through her cold bones. Just for tonight, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
Ethel woke with a giggle. Louisa pushed her hair from her eyes blinking as the sun streamed through the open curtains. She couldn’t close them last night, the stars felt like her link to Alfred. They reminded her of his sweet sparkling eyes and the warmth of his smile.
Ethel had snuggled in for a feed and being the guts that she was, she had finished and was now demanding to go downstairs for breakfast.
Peter ran into the room, “Mumma, it’s so cold downstairs, Pa hasn’t lit the fi...” his face crumpled into distress as he realised what he had said.
“Come here, my man. It’s alright. Yes we will need to sort some duties out, won’t we? Are you the first of my boys awake?”
“Yes,” came a forlorn little voice beside me.
“Well let’s go down and you can help me get some breakfast before the rowdy ones wake up.”
Coming down the stairs they were assailed with an acrid smell of smoke wafting under the kitchen door.
“What is going on in here?” she cried as she entered.
“I thought I would make some toast Mam, but when I put it over the fire it went all black and started smoking,” came a very sheepish reply from Alfred Jr, dropping the toast as it started to singe his fingers.
John, George and Willy were sniggering from the other side of the table. Magnus entered the back door with a pail of milk. He hadn’t forgot to milk old Daisy. She wasn’t surprised.
Louisa smiled to herself and replied, “ Toast can be so tricky Alfred, why don’t you leave the cooking to me. But I would really appreciate you lighting the fire before I come down of a morning. It would be such a help, dear.
“Magnus, I bet Daisy was please to see you, we won’t even have to heat the milk for porridge this morning will we?”
Alfred Jr looked relieved to have escape a dressing down. He made a silent promised to Pa, that he would not let him down. He would help Mam, with anything she asked. After all, he was the Man of the House now, he had heard the doctor say yesterday.
After breakfast they all settled into their daily routine. Louisa, sorted through the jobs that Alfred usually did, if it was possible to give these chores to one of the boys, it was negotiated. Some of the older boys chores were passed down the line to younger brothers. But the reality was that there was just so much that the children could do, no matter how eager they were to help. It eventuated that a lot of the jobs would be added to her list of “to dos.”
She thought longingly of happy times and all their grand plans and dreams. Alfred had so many dreams for their future. Would she be able to carry on with these dreams. No matter what, there was their wonderful legacy of children to leave the world. If nothing else she could nurture their dreams and hopes. The day ended as it had begun, with them all sitting in the kitchen.
“Mumma, how will Pa, get to the angels?” little George asked her with wonder in his eyes.
“Soon we will go to church and say some prayers for Pa, asking God to send his angels to guide his heavenly body to heaven. His earthly body will be put in the ground, so we can plant a tree to remember him and visit him when we need to,” she explained hoping that it would quell any further questions for tonight.
She packed them all off to bed with the promise of a trip into town tomorrow. She would have to go and visit the Undertaker. Maybe she could also check in with the bank to see if she had any money?
She started to knead the dough for tomorrow’s bread. It felt good to punch something, then setting it on the mantle to rise overnight, she realised she had survived another day.
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